Ramblings.. and a lie to myself.

You know that feeling, when you read what you've written previously, and you think back, and wonder to yourself, was that really me? Was I really going through that torrent of emotions just four months back? Has life changed, since? It's quite amusing to know that us humans have this innate since of retrospection. It just comes naturally, to want to compare your now-self with your before-self. I guess we are all judgmental creatures, and a bit of self-critique wouldn't hurt, would it?

It is inherently about whether we are better off than we were before. Are we happier. Are we more at ease with those around us. Have things been going smoothly, or have they been becoming worse? But there's a part of me which is screaming out to be heard: isn't this all about you and wanting to douse yourself in self-pity? All these endless questions about one's worth and one's abilities. Why put yourself through all these when really, all that's important is to be happy with what you already own and you already have?

Frankly speaking, I don't know what sparked off this little tirade I'm having within me. They're just observations. About myself, and this thing called human nature. It's funny how one can judge the world for all it is and at the end of the day, be at odds with yourself. I wonder if I actually do make sense to anybody else.

So life has been pretty. The teaching stint ended (I don't know why but the rarity in which I update this space has resulted in the demarkation of my life into these things called 'stints') and apart from fourteen days of exploring the motherland, or China as it is more commonly known, I've been lounging around and taking life as it is. I've also been entertaining lots of crazy ideas in my head about the future, but now with school starting really soon for me, I don't know if any of those could ever come to fruition.

And once again, I make a promise to myself to write more. But whether this is a white lie or not, only time can tell.